pretendingly | Breathe, keep breathing, I can't do this alone

Waiting for the right time to attack Alioth wasn't so bad. They sat in the backseat of Mobius's car, while he spoke with the other Lokis. What was left of them, at least.

She found herself listening to Loki's voice as if it were a song. His voice so prim and proper, his stories stirring and exciting. Yet, she still falls asleep. Being on the run for as long as she has, well, it takes a toll.

How long can she sleep? Will he awake her?

Loki is a good two-thirds into his tale before he realizes that Sylvie has nodded off. The backseat of the car is cramped, for him, his legs feeling as though they're right up against his chest even with the seat in front of him pulled as far forward as possible (or as far forward as Mobius stated was possible which might not be in any relationship toward reality). His voice lowers, and he watches her with his head tilted.

She'd said she couldn't sleep around people she didn't trust. And then she'd fallen asleep on the train on Lamentis, and perhaps that's to be expected; this, in a more confined space, with no one but Loki actually around is a little different.

He pitches his voice a little lower, finishes telling his story just in case some part of her is still listening; when she doesn't rouse on her own, he simply props a hand underneath his chin and watches her sleep for a while.

Creepy, maybe, but. Last time he got well and drunk; that's not even an option, here.

When she starts to shift in her sleep he leans back a little. "What will you do after the TVA is destroyed?" There's a good chance she doesn't hear him, or ignores him even, but.

He wants to know what her plans are beyond that point. Assuming she has one.

Sylvie realizes she nodded off again. It's true, sleeping in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people was impossible for her. But Loki's presence was somewhat soothing to her. Like she knew him. (Which, despite being the same person, meant a lot. They were completely different).

She brushes her hair from out of her face and pulls he knees up to her chest.

"I don't know. Maybe I could go back home, see if Thor is there. Or mother." She at least had his priorities as well.

"Why, are you planning on tagging along?"

But what if you can't go home again? What if they aren't there? He thinks, and has the presence of mind not to say. He doesn't exactly want to rain on her parade, here.

She asks that question and Loki nods, once. "If you don't mind." Presumptive, possibly, but he doesn't think he can go home again, not after New York, and he doesn't exactly want to deal with the repercussions of all of that either.

Meeting a version of his parents who actually told the truth from jump would be interesting.

She looks both pleased and somehow annoyed at the same time. "I suppose I don't mind, when did you think you were going to mention it to me?"

Sylvie doesn't want to start a fight, and takes this moment of the ball being in his court to lean back against the seat and put her feet up on the front bench. Getting real comfortable up in here.

"We both know they won't be there. They reset my timeline."

She might not be looking for a fight but her tone makes him bristle for half a second before her body language tells him he ought to calm down, maybe.

"Now seemed like a good time." Did she ever have the impression that Loki was good with timing of all the things? Hopefully not. He never has been.

At the rest... he shrugs, a little. "All of space and time is open to you. If you're not going home, where would you like to go? What would you like to see, to do?"

He feels like she hasn't had many choices like that presented to her, or opportunity to let her imagination run wild outside of the necessary.

She sort of nods sideways. Now is a good time as any.

"I don't know," she says with a sigh. "Maybe I need a guide. Where would you like to go? We could find you another Mobius. Or whatever his real name is... He feels like a Stuart to me. Doesn't he?"

"No, thank you, if it's all the same." Does he want to talk about his complicated feelings for Mobius? Definitely not. It's best, he thinks, if they set it aside and never speak of it directly. Mobius works for the TVA, and Loki would rather not find his core variant, or whatever they're calling it now, out in the wild. At least, not on purpose.

"There are lots of places I would like to go. Midgard has any number of welcome celebrations." Carnivale comes to mind, or Mardi Gras... places like that, where they could get lost amongst seas of celebrating people. "It really depends on what you're in the mood for, I think."

"You do realize I've never had fun in my entire life, right?" Her face is serious for a moment before she cracks a smile. "But I've seen some of Midgard's celebrations. They often-times ended with the apocalypse."

Sylvie sets her head against the crappy vinyl seat. Her hair gets a little static-y, and her eyes are on Loki and nothing else, just in this one moment. For her. A treat.

"Really? And here I thought you were more hedonistic than I am." She smiles at him and his stomach ties itself in knots. Is this how Thor felt, gazing upon that little doctor he liked so much?

Gods above and below, but he's in trouble.

He wants to look away, is afraid of what she might see in his face if she keeps gazing at him like that, but. The worst that could happen, he decides, is that she doesn't want him to go with her; the next runner-up is that she laughs at him, which, really, is bound to happen anyway. So. He doesn't look away.

"There's nothing like the end of the world to get a party started." With anyone, really, but definitely with Midgardians. He props his chin up with one hand, elbow on the back of the seat, body fully turned in her direction. Loki wants to show her how fun things can be, how beautiful and messy and wildly chaotic all of creation tends to become at any given moment. He wants to give her everything she's ever wanted but doesn't know how to offer it.

He wonders if she can tell.

She can't tell completely. She knows something is there. That they created a nexus event. He tried to tell her, but she already knew. One of them fell in love with the other (and she wasn't sure which it was).

"I want to go somewhere that there aren't people rushing around, trying to find their families. What's the best place on Midgard to go to? We're Frost Giants, are we not? Maybe we should go north."

"Hm." Well that puts out his party ideas, doesn't it? Not that he's displeased by it, exactly, but it is a subtle reminder that for all the ways in which they are the same that they are still, at their core, two very different people.

"Apparently there is a colony of Asgardian refugees somewhere in Norway, I think. Beyond that, I'm familiar with the Scandinavian region, obviously, and most of the Americas, Australia, parts of Europe..." A small shrug. "In the north it's beautiful, and cold, and mostly people mind their own business unless the region is very small. In that case, they believe everyone's business is their own."

"Asgardian refugees? On Midgard? How do they feel about Lokis?" She tilts her head to the side, wondering if they'd have to keep jumping until they were out of juice, just to find a planet that didn't hate Lokis.

"I don't know, actually. I think their version of Loki is either dead or the older gentleman that's here." Either way, an uncomfortable thought. "We can avoid them, though." Loki thinks he'd rather, all things considered. He doesn't feel prepared to deal with the repercussions of... any of that, much less see Thor in the flesh so soon after whatever's to happen, here in the void at the end of time.

"Just you, and I?" She looks slightly hopeful. Childlike, even, for a moment. It makes her feel like a child, to feel love like this.

"Just you and I," he repeats, a smile broadening across his features. It's some kind of wonderous thing, that anyone could look so happy at the idea of just spending time with him and him alone.

One of his hands comes down and rests at her shoulder, giving a little squeeze. "And when you're tired of me, we can figure that out too."

She leans into him. The way a cat shifts it's body ever so slightly to put pressure on you. As if it's gravity's doing, not their own.

"We won't grow old, why would we grow old of each other? We're our own best friend."

It's nice, the leaning against him. It makes Loki smile, more than a little bit, soft and a bit wry.

"Because neither of us is used to having someone else around? Even though we are the same, we're also different. We're both so used to just... ourselves and ourselves alone." He knows that he's not an... easy creature to spend time around. Moody and morose in certain circumstances, hyperactive in others. He imagines he's not as focused as Sylvie can be, considering how long she's been working towards toppling the TVA.

"That doesn't mean I won't... that I don't like the idea of being at your side no matter what. I do. I just... want to cover the bases, I guess."

This is real. This is happening. She sits up, placing her palm over Loki's heart. It's a movement of defense but she realizes how she can feel it beating through his ribcage.

"You want to be with me? Is that... is that what you're saying?"

His heart is beating heavy and fast. Loki swallows. Nods. He'd have assumed he was obvious about it, but then again...

What kind of experience becomes shaped by the ending of worlds? In places that cease to be, where the people and things in them will all be destroyed? Has she had anyone longer than for a day? A week?

His eyes search her face, looking for answers. Finding none, other than this: "That is what I'm saying."

"Only would Loki fall for himself." She gazed at him lovingly, then leaned in slow to give him a soft, gentle kiss on the cheek.

He closes his eyes as she kisses his cheek, breathing out a little huff of amusement but also something more. There's wanting, there, but he won't push. Refuses to go too far, or become too demanding.

She's here, with him, and has accepted his feelings. For now, that's enough.

"But you are the superior variant."

Breathe, keep breathing, I can't do this alone

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